When Your Teen Says Stop Posting Photos of Me

Parenting in the digital age comes with its own set of challenges, and one of the most surprising moments for many parents (including me) is when their teenagers say, “Please stop posting photos of me online anymore.” It’s a shift that can feel bittersweet—after years of documenting every milestone, you’re suddenly faced with the reality that your kids are growing up and asserting their independence. But this change is also an opportunity to foster trust, respect boundaries, and rethink how you capture and share family moments. Not – but what about my engagement?

I recently reached this crossroads moment with my oldest teen. I posted a few photos from Christmas as I always do, but learned shortly after, my son was not happy about it. In my eyes, I was just sharing a family moment. In his eyes, he sees a photo that everyone in his world will now see, that he would prefer they did not. Then the other day, there was another photo I really wanted to share on my Instagram and this time I asked him first, thinking it would be okay. It was met with an immediate NO. I was disappointed. But I understood. Also, and probably most importantly, I got a “thank you” text out of it. I guess going forward my feeds are going to be even more heavy on food pics, or I just move on to my younger teen who is not even on Instagram. Oh, I joke. I am trying to learn from my own lesson here.

From Sharenting to Respecting Boundaries

The term sharenting—the practice of parents sharing photos and stories about their children online—has become a common part of modern parenting. For years, you’ve likely shared adorable snapshots of your kids’ first steps, school achievements, or family vacations. But as your children grow into teens, their perspective on these posts often changes. Studies show that many teenagers feel embarrassed or frustrated by their parents’ social media habits, especially when they’re not asked for consent beforehand.

This shift isn’t just about privacy; it’s about control. Teens are navigating their own digital identities and want a say in how they’re represented online. As parents, respecting this boundary is crucial—not just to maintain trust but also to teach valuable lessons about consent and online etiquette.

I sometimes forget that my kids only know the world of social media. Their entire lives can probably be mapped out just from posts their parents have made on various platforms. To me, I am simply updating friends and family on something I think is entertaining. But to a teen (or anyone really), you are opening them up to potential embarrassment.

Why Their Digital Footprint Matters

One reason teenagers push back against being featured online is the growing awareness of their digital footprint. Every photo or post contributes to a permanent record that could follow them into adulthood. While a funny photo may seem harmless now, it could resurface in ways they find uncomfortable later—whether during job interviews or in social situations.

You certainly don’t want to Google your name and one of the first things that pops up is a cute photo of yourself when you were little. Sure, as a parent, you will always think it’s great, but I guess that is what old-school photo albums are for.

By respecting your teen’s wishes, you’re giving them the chance to take ownership of their online presence. This not only protects their privacy but also empowers them to make thoughtful decisions about what they share with the world.

How to Capture Moments Without Oversharing

So what happens when your teenager says no to social media posts? Does that mean you stop taking photos? Not at all. Here are some creative ways to continue capturing memories while respecting their boundaries:

• Ask for Consent: Before snapping a photo or sharing it online, ask your teen if they’re okay with it. If they say no, honour that decision without pressuring them. I still take all the photos I usually take, but now I say they are more for history and not sharing unless he is okay with it.
  
• Focus on Candid Moments: Instead of posed photos, capture candid shots that don’t reveal too much. Silhouettes, over-the-shoulder angles, or close-ups of hands during activities can tell a story without compromising privacy.
  
• Keep It Offline: Create private photo albums or use apps like Tinybeans to share pictures with close family and friends without posting them publicly. We have a family group text where I now share the photos instead, for example.
  
• Highlight Family Experiences: Shift the focus from individual portraits to group activities or scenic backdrops. For example, a shot of everyone hiking together can capture the memory without singling anyone out. This one still needs a review from our teen. I am fine to capture the photos and keep them private.
  
• Use Creative Editing: If you still want to share photos occasionally, consider using tools to obscure faces or identifying features—like adding emojis or cropping images creatively. I don’t really like this one, but it may work for some.

Teaching Teens About Consent and Privacy

This stage also presents an opportunity to model respectful behaviour around consent and privacy. By involving your teens in decisions about what gets posted online, you’re teaching them how to navigate these issues in their own lives. Encourage open conversations about why privacy matters and how digital content can have long-term consequences.

For example:

• Discuss scenarios where sharing personal information might lead to unintended outcomes. We refer to them as “bum” pics.
  
• Help them set boundaries for what they’re comfortable sharing on their own social media accounts. Based on my research, teens don’t share anything publicly except memes. The rest are probably on accounts you don’t know exist. That’s a topic for a whole other day.
  
• Emphasize the importance of asking others for permission before posting group photos.

A Social Media Transition

It’s worth reflecting on how this dynamic has shifted since your kids were little. When they were toddlers, they didn’t have a say in what was shared—but as parents, you likely made those decisions with love and pride. Now that they’re older, it’s time to hand over some of that control.

There is, however, a part of this we can’t overlook. Many parents out there use their kids’ photos for growth, engagement, earning potential, etc. on social media platforms. Who hasn’t done this in some way? Look at my blog posts or IG several years ago. Of course, it factored into what I posted. You start out with pride and you get a taste of 100’s of likes. I think you can get away with it when your kids are little and don’t know any better. Then it turns into one of those child actor sad stories. I certainly don’t want that.

Not to worry. This transition doesn’t mean losing out on cherished memories; it’s about finding new ways to celebrate them together. Whether through private family traditions or creative photography techniques, you can still document your journey as a parent while respecting your teen’s autonomy.

It’s Not Worth a Fight

Parenting teenagers often feels like walking a tightrope between holding on and letting go. When it comes to sharing photos online, respecting their wishes is an important step toward fostering trust and independence. By adapting how you capture and share memories, you’ll not only preserve your relationship but also set an example for responsible digital behaviour.

So the next time you reach for your phone to snap a picture, pause for a moment. Ask yourself—and your teen—if it’s something they’d be happy to see online years from now. Ultimately, parenting isn’t just about capturing moments; it’s about creating a foundation of respect that lasts a lifetime.