When you’re the dad of teenagers like me, you spend a lot of time marveling at how quickly everything changes. One day, you’re tripping over LEGO bricks and trying to survive the 100th read of “Paw Patrol,” and the next, you’re negotiating curfews and wondering why your grocery bill has doubled. As my boys have grown into teenagers, I do find myself missing certain things about their younger years—moments and routines I never realized I’d long for until they were gone.
Now, don’t get me wrong, when I hear other little kids screaming at the top of their lungs over YouTube being taken away, I am quite happy having young adults. I can always access my memories of what I miss about my kids being little.
The Little Hands and Big Hugs
There’s something about the way a toddler’s hand fits perfectly into yours. When my boys were little, they’d reach up for me without hesitation. Those spontaneous hugs, sticky with juice or chocolate, were given freely and often. Now, my oldest is minutes away from being taller than me, and while I still get the occasional hug, it’s usually accompanied by an eye roll or a “Dad, don’t be weird.” I miss the days when affection was unfiltered.
The Simple Joys
Back then, a trip to High Park or a ride on the subway was an adventure. My boys would press their faces against the train window, fascinated by the tunnels and the city speeding by. We’d spend hours going for walks down to the lake, skipping stones and collecting sticks. Now, outings require negotiation—“Can I bring my headphones?” or “Do we have to go?” I miss how easy it was to impress them with the world’s simple wonders.
The Bedtime Routine
Bedtime used to be a whole production: baths, stories (sometimes the same one, three times in a row), and whatever it took for them to want to go to bed. I’d do my best dramatic reading of “Goodnight Moon” or make up stories about superheroes who had similar qualities as their dad. Now, bedtime is just a simple goodnight with the hopes the boys put the phone away and get a good night’s sleep. I miss the ritual, the chance to slow down and connect at the end of the day. I miss the way we used to recount our day together.
The Questions
When they were little, my boys asked questions about everything. “Why is the sky blue?” “How does the subway work?” “Can we have chocolate for breakfast?” Their curiosity was endless, and I loved being the guy with all the answers (or at least pretending I was). These days, their questions are more complicated, and sometimes they don’t ask me at all—they just Google it. I miss being their go-to source for life’s mysteries.
The Noise (Yes, Really)
Our house used to be filled with the sounds of laughter, racing feet, and the occasional meltdown over a broken toy. Now, it’s quieter. The boys are often in their rooms, headphones on, lost in their own worlds. I never thought I’d say it, but I miss the chaos. The noise was proof of life, of energy, of family.
The Firsts
Every parent remembers the “firsts”—first steps, first words, first time riding a bike. As kids become teens, the firsts are still there, but they’re different. First job, first crush, first time riding transit on their own. These milestones are just as important, but sometimes I miss the innocence and excitement of those early achievements.
Finding New Joys
As I have mentioned already, I also very much enjoy this stage of life. Teens are funny, insightful, and capable of great conversation (when they’re in the mood). We bond over the latest NBA news, video games, share inside jokes, and debate the best meals we have cooked. I’m not great at saying it out loud, but I’m proud of the young men my boys are becoming, even if I sometimes wish I could hit pause and revisit those earlier days. Each of my guys has this smile they used to have as a kid. You know that one where they are so happy and have no filters on. They just let’er rip. I miss those smiles. But now they have 15 other expressions that explain who they are without saying a word. I think that’s pretty cool to see happen in real-time.
Holding On and Letting Go
Being a dad means learning to let go, little by little. It’s about giving your kids the space to grow, even as you hold onto the memories that made you a family. I’ll always miss the days when my boys were small, but I’m grateful for the chance to watch them become who they’re meant to be.
So, to all the dads out there missing the little things: you’re not alone. Cherish the memories, embrace the chaos (whatever form it takes), and don’t be afraid to ask for a hug—even if it comes with a groan.
What do you miss most about your kids being little? Share your stories in the comments—I’d love to hear them.
