Parenting Teens: The next level of Dad life

When you first become a dad, the world shrinks down to a few simple but intense tasks: feeding, changing diapers, and making sure this tiny human survives the night. Life is a blur of sleepless nights, first steps, and the occasional quiet moment where you catch your breath and think, “I’m really doing this.” But just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, your kids go and turn into teenagers, and suddenly, the rulebook gets rewritten.

I have entered that level of Dad life and to be honest, I’ve been trying to wrap my head around how to not only do it but talk about it. Because for those with teens, you know they are not that interested in their lives being shared by their parents. I believe that is referred to as cringe.

Parenting teens is a whole different ballgame. It’s like going from March Madness to the NBA. Gone are the days when you could solve every problem with a snack and a nap. Now, you’re navigating curfews, social media, and the emotional rollercoaster that comes with adolescence.

The stakes feel higher because the decisions they make today can shape the rest of their lives. It’s enough to make even the most seasoned dad break a sweat.

Need a new comms plan

One of the biggest changes when your kids become teens is the shift in how you communicate. When they were little, it was all about simple instructions: “Don’t touch that,” “Eat your vegetables,” “Time for bed.” But teenagers? What I have learned is they need explanations. Very detailed explanations. More than once. They want to understand the why behind your rules and decisions. Imagine that eh?

They’re starting to form their own opinions, and they’re not afraid to challenge yours. It’s a humbling experience, to realize that your role as a parent has evolved from being the unquestioned authority to being more of a guide—someone who helps them navigate the complexities of growing up. You start to remember what it was like being a teen yourself and it all comes back like a wave of dread.

This shift means that conversations with your teens can be some of the most rewarding—and frustrating—moments in parenting. It’s very different than when the kids were younger and you achieved a milestone like their first day of school, or riding a bike. It’s now rewarding because you get to see their minds at work, watch them wrestle with ideas, and begin to carve out their own identities.

But it’s also frustrating because, let’s be honest, sometimes you just want them to listen to you the way they did when they were five. But that’s the thing about parenting teens: it’s less about control and more about influence. You’re laying the groundwork for the kind of adult they’ll become, and that requires a lot of patience and a lot of listening. I have said many times to anyone who wants to listen, that I feel more like I am an advisor, rather than a decision-maker.

Giving more space

Another major difference is the need to give them space while still being there when they need you. This fits with the advisor role I was just mentioning. Space is certainly one thing I am getting better at giving. I like space so of course they would as well. Teenagers are always testing the waters of independence, and as a dad, it’s tough to know when to step in and when to step back. I like to solve problems and fix things before it blows up.

Recently our oldest was not doing what we asked in terms of reaching out to a teacher and I just wanted to do it for him. But that’s not the way to go anymore. It can be painful to step back and let things happen, or in many cases, not happen. You want to protect them from making mistakes, but you also know that some lessons can only be learned through experience. It’s a delicate balance—one that I’m still figuring out. Will I ever figure it out? I feel the goalposts move every month.

Emotional rollercoaster

Then there’s the emotional side of things. When our boys were younger, a scraped knee or a lost toy could be fixed with a hug and a bit of distraction. But teenage problems? They’re often more complex and less easy to solve. Heartbreaks, academic pressures, and social struggles are all part of the package now. As a dad, you learn that sometimes all you can do is offer a listening ear and a reminder that you’re there, no matter what. You can’t let frustration get to you as it only rubs off on the kids and whatever the problem is.

Parenting teens isn’t for the faint of heart, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. You get to watch your kids grow into who they’re meant to be, and you realize that, while the challenges are different, the rewards are just as sweet. When they do happen, the conversations are deeper, the connections stronger, and the pride you feel in watching them navigate the world is unmatched. It’s definitely a new chapter in dad life, and while it comes with its own set of challenges, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Or maybe ask me again in a month. I kid.

What is your biggest struggle with parenting teens? Let’s get it all out in the comments. Let’s be honest, they will never read it as long as it doesn’t make it to TikTok.

This was a long and round about way of saying, I plan to write a lot more about parenting teens on this blog. I hope you come with me on the adventure.

To my teens, don’t worry, I will do my best to not share anything personal or embarrassing unless you piss me off, and then, all is fair game.

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