So Long Old Friend, I Will Miss Your Sweetness

Breaking up is never easy. It brings with it, sleepless nights, awkward conversations, stressful decisions, inner struggles and the stone-cold reality that things will never be the same.

It absolutely blows.  But some relationships are so toxic and wrong, that once you break through to the other side, life is good again. The hard part is getting there. It’s a journey that makes what they did in The Hobbit, look like a walk down the street.

Truly giving up on something you love, there is nothing harder.

But I must.

As of an hour ago, I have decided to break up with a dear, old friend.

The office pastry.


Yes, you office pastry with your seductive sweetness and fluffy crust. God damn you have done a number on me. Even now, knowing I will not spend time with you again makes me sick. I can still taste the cream cheese from our last encounter.

But you are so wrong for me. Yes, you gave me some much-needed enjoyment and filled my moaning tummy so many times, but people are starting to look at me different. People are starting to notice what you have done to me. I can’t hide it under my coat anymore. You are making me fat.

I hate feeling this way, especially knowing that our good times together did this. It taints all of the good times we shared. Looking out the window together during a sunny Toronto morning. The pain, it’s still to real.

But I will live on. I will survive this change in my life. I am working on getting a sponsor. Someone I can turn to when I want to fall off the pastry wagon. The next few weeks are going to be hard. It’s Christmas! There are more baked goods around than ever. Each one is only going to remind me of you. My special pastry. LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE TURNED ME INTO!

Stay away from me office pastry. I will have to start ignoring you. Even when you are right there in front of me. My time going to and from the office kitchen will have to stop until you are gone.

I will stay at my desk and watch all the other happy coworkers who get to enjoy your flavours, your sweetness and your messy crumbs. It’s hard not to be jealous, but I know it’s best for me.

Breaking up is hard to do, but I 100% believe in my heart of hearts, I can do it. I will be better off. My shirts won’t feel so sung.

It’s time to start this journey alone. I need to make this walk across the desert of will power by myself.

I can do this. I will defeat this pain. I will never eat another office pastry again.